The hem of his cloak

Lately I have struggled a lot with worry. I don't think I worried so much before becoming a parent. But for the last month and half Daniel has been sick nearly all the time. It is hard to be a Mom when baby is sick. He is cranky, and then I wonder what more I should be doing. Or why he is so often sick, etc.

I wonder why it is so much harder to trust God in child-like faith when I am a Mom? Is it because I feel I should be doing more myself?

Besides Daniel's health my own changing body has lots of aches and pains. I am having a lot of back pain and can no longer carry Daniel as much as he would like. He does not yet walk on his own and it is at times hard NOT to carry him. But my back so easily starts hurting from any "extra" load.

I have been thinking a lot about the verse where the woman who had been subject to bleeding said to herself, "If I can touch the hem of his cloak, I will be healed." I keep thinking, "If only it were that easy now." When I imagine Jesus standing next to me, or walking past me and needing only to reach out and touch him to be healed, I envy the people of that day. Were it only so easy! Yet I keep asking myself, "Is it now so much more difficult to be healed just because I can't see Jesus and touch him? " Surely not. What is the key here? Is it the fact that she touched him? Or the fact that she had the faith to believe that IF she touched him she WOULD be healed? When Jesus turned to her he blessed her faith. Therefore, it is the faith that heals. Why is it so hard for us, for me, to reach out in this kind of faith and be healed?