This summer I have seen two people I cared about make some very unwise decisions.
I have cried more tears over this than I had ever cried before. It was as if this person, as I knew them died.
I prayed, of course I prayed. I prayed for miracles, for God to prevent this person from sinning further. But God didn't answer. I know that He answered in His way, but He didn't stop this person from sinning as I wanted Him too. He didn't work the miracles I had hoped He would. Why? Was it because of the free choice He has given? Was it because this person didn't seek to do otherwise?
Another person- another story- more tears shed and I tried to warn them of the downfall of the first. They thanked me for caring, and that was that. As far as I know they too have chosen to walk the path they had chosen. More unanswered prayers.
I find myself wondering if is really mattered that I prayed? Will it matter in the future? I KNOW that God answers prayers. I see Him answering my prayers daily. He works in all kinds of little ways in my life. But what about these big things? Why didn't He answer? Why didn't He keep these two children of His from sinning further? Was it because they didn't choose to please Him? I feel as if it is of no use to pray for a person who has decided to stubbornly follow their own desires over the best plan God has for them. It seems so useless. . . if a person so dear could so completely forsake all they knew as right.
James 5: 16b says, ". . . The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective."
Perhaps I am not righteous enough? Perhaps I don't know how to pray well enough? I don't know. I am mourning over the people mentioned. I grieve over their choices. I wonder about the future and how to pray more effectively.
I don't doubt God's ability to answer, I just feel so disappointed.
I'm sorry friend. You know you can call me any time if you need to talk. I understand what you're saying, how you're feeling. I've been there myself, still am in some ways. But we must keep the faith. We have seen the Lord do some amazing things. When I think about prayers I think of them as pounding on a wall with a sledgehammer. It seems like nothing is happening at first, but then all of a sudden a chunk will come off, then another. Pretty soon the whole wall is crumbling. It's not that our prayers aren't "working", but that sometimes it takes a lot of work. Those prayers are each heard and even if we can't see it at the moment, the heavenly realms are abuzz. Hang in there. You are right, God has given people free will. If they choose to turn their back on Him, He isn't going to force Himself on them...but that doesn't mean He has stopped pursuing them. There are other times that I am so glad God hasn't answered my prayers as I have prayed them, His answer was so much better! I know you know all this, but be encouraged today. You're not alone and your prayers DO matter, more than you'll ever know this side of heaven. I love you friend!
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